Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
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So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future