How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.