he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.