We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
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my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.