The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.