I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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