What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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