dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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