Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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