Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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