i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
do nipples grow back?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
