Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
