btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
