his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
