I hate your face
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
