talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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