Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
