I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
