YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sext me about skeletons
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
