im about as happy as oj after his trial
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
