She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
