I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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