Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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