Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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