i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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