You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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