id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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