He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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