Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize