I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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