is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
