fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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