we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
