I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
