I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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