I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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