Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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