Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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