I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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