Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
