Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
