I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize