He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
