i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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