How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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