question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
