Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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