He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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