I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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