I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
