Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
