I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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