So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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