We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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