is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
