Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize