Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
