R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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