We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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