go do what you do best...puke behind churches
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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