Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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