dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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