i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
