we're blogging at a bar
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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