You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
