I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
