so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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