His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
